New Life

 So I've completed watching Cardcaptors for the 2nd time. 1st was when i was in college or began working. And before that, I'd watch it randomly on tv without knowing the order. I even watched the clear card arc though it's incomplete. I read the manga and that's incomplete as well. So i decided to begin Tsubasa Chronicles which has a few of the same character names but a different story completely. That is also not fully complete. Now I'm watching Holic.

In all this, i have learned so much. About friendship and love, about understanding things aren't what they appear to be. And you should read in between the lines to fully realise what something could actually be. Well it's deeper than that. A lot of spiritual connotations... Etc. The point is... It's something that has enriched my life and my inner being in a way that has changed the way i look at myself and the way i behave. It has also helped me further understand how other ppl function and there is more than what meets the eye.

Lastly, all these things made me sure of the decisions i made to get rid of the toxic people in my life. It just showed me how someone who really is your friend would treat you and be there for you in more ways than one. And would respect you and understand your value in their lives and would make sure to tell you how amazing you've been. Any friend who isn't cheerful and always complaining about everything that's going wrong... Well it's probably a sign that they're the problem. They cannot see happiness and do not know how to be grateful for the things they have and graceful about the things they don't. You shouldn't have to deal with such negative energy because it just will suck out the happiness from you and make you bitter like them.

Bitchari

The signs were ignored by me back then

I should've realised you weren't a friend

Why did i let this go on for so long?

Made excuses for all the times you did me wrong.

Your texts on my screen brought me disgust,

Begrudgingly I'd respond, cause my conscience said i must

But i never bothered to ask myself why

Maybe i knew deep down inside

This friendship was not built to last

It was only a matter of time before i let you go

Always treated me like i was below

Anyone and everyone else you valued in life

I tried and tried but you were never satisfied

I hurt you once and accepted my faults

Maybe ask yourself, did you ever acknowledge your flaws?

The times you ridiculed me out of jealousy

Or the times you belittled me out of insecurity

You know what this is about.

 Think of how she would feel if she saw you like this. Would she like her only child to be this broken and disheartened? What do you think she'd do if she is watching over you right now? She may be struggling to comfort you but you just can't see or feel it. It would hurt her to see you like this and even more so coz she's trying so hard but can't get through. REALISE she'll always be there with you. No matter  what. She's SAFE with Him now. NOTHING and NO ONE can harm her. You owe it to her to be the best of yourself because that's what she would want.