To become a Man (J. Paul)

I've thought about it a lot. From all the angles. Sometimes I understand why. Sometimes I miss us. But I don't want it back. I'm happy with my life. It's amazing like never before. I'm blessed. And the blessings have come faster than I expected. But you know what they say. After the hurricane, comes the rainbow.

Why did we happen then? It was like I loved you in a way I've never loved anyone. Cuz I held my heart back for the most part. But I gave it to you cuz I thought you deserved it. Thought you were the one. Maybe you were the one that got away. I wish I could understand why you happened to me. Yes I learned a lot. I learned to trust more, to understand more. Much more. To accept to adjust to adapt. Earlier, 95% of me fell for ur love even after u ended it all. But now it's jus a passing image of wat once was and wat will never be. And I'm happy I'm out of it. I made myself believe that I'm so lucky and blessed to have you. In the start I really was lucky. But later u took me for granted. You took and took and took. And left me (secretly) waiting hoping craving wanting ur attention even though I acted like I'm okay without you. You made my insecurities grow by doing stupid things. I should have known. Ur still a kid. You've yet to mature. To become a man.